By Oluwatise Osinaike
By age 15, I was done with secondary school and I had gained admission into the university. Now, if you had African parents like mine, relationship talks wouldn’t be new to you at all. They would always say things like focus on your studies oh! And don’t allow any useless boy to distract you.
That went on and on throughout my stay in secondary school. When it was time for me to gain admission, I remember my mum saying I should only go into a relationship when I was in part three or four.
At this point to be very honest, I became confused. What was so special in the timing? Why can’t I just have a boyfriend now? What don’t I have now that would suddenly appear when I’m in part three or four? I had a lot of questions in mind that needed answers. Most importantly, I needed to know their reasons.
I heard a message
I didn’t get to know their reasons by having a conversation with them or sitting them down to hear their views or perspectives about the subject matter. It was not that I didn’t want to or we didn’t have that kind of relationship, I just didn’t want them to know that I was making findings regarding that aspect, especially at that young age of mine.
So I began reading books and listening to sermons along that line. The first sermon I listened to, was “Relationship Goals” by Pastor Mike Todd. It had about 8 series then on YouTube. I listened to part one and I was indeed wowed. The teaching majored on the book of Genesis chapters 1 and 2, the creation story, and majorly about what God gave Adam before he found Eve. I was amazed at the wisdom he used to relate this to dating and courtship in our present day.
In his teaching, he mentioned that after Adam was created, God said, it wasn’t good for a man to be alone. This means that even God consents to us, having partners and one we can live the rest of our lives with. But before this plays out, let’s do a quick flashback to the creation story.
The creation story
All the while, when God created the sea, the firmaments, the livestock, the vegetables, the animals, the Bible recorded that God said they were all good, He also created man and told him to dominate and subdue the earth. But after a while, God looked at man and saw that it wasn’t good for man to be alone and that he would make him one who is a help-meet to him.
This just explains how God wants man to be in association and not isolation. So if this is God’s idea in the first place we have to follow God’s way and pattern of doing it and getting it right.
Read also: My journey towards self-discovery: https://churchtimesnigeria.net/my-journey-towards-self-discovery-in-changing-world/
Man was formed from the dust of the earth and he came into being by the breath of God. Man became a living person in the presence of God. This is one of the criteria to consider before choosing a partner in the presence of God. If you are looking for a girlfriend to compensate for the void of God in your life then you are wrong.
Apart from Adam being in the presence of God, He also had an identity, God gave him an identity. He was created in the image of God and he didn’t doubt who he was. He knew he was created to dominate, to rule, to subdue the earth and he had already started walking in that reality.
Your self-esteem first
I see many teens, still baffling with low self-esteem, inferiority complex, peer pressure, and yet still wanting to venture into a relationship. What you think and feel about yourself, is an important question you must ask yourself. You must have a proper view and a proper understanding of who you are. When this is understood you won’t be competing with another person’s identity.
It was also in the presence of God, that Adam was able to find purpose. God told him to tend and watch over the Garden of Eden. Let me also add that purpose is not a destination but a journey.
Many of us think of purpose, as a big dream that is far-fetched. But should I shock you to let you know that purpose is inside and around you? God is wise to have created the Garden and everything in it just before he created Adam that the only thing he asked Adam to do, was to tend and watch over the things in the Garden.
God placed you somewhere
God must have placed you somewhere. It could be the educational sector. The children’s church? The political sector? The business industry? Where has God placed you that requires your service, God requires that you tend and watch over those sectors carefully because that is actually what purpose is all about.
All of these things and many more, are factors to consider before venturing into a relationship. It wasn’t until Adam had all these things that God knew it was time to get help meet for him. It is in your doing all of these things that you get to find the person.
Do you now see that a relationship is not just about age but a whole lot of things have to be put in place so that when the one finally comes the person would be a help-meet for you and not baggage or a liability?
Dear teen, if you would ask me, now is not the time for all that, you still have a lot of time ahead of you especially to get to know God and discover more about yourself. Do something extra each day, don’t just live your life waiting for the one without doing anything productive.
God still has a whole lot to do with you before you finally get to have a partner. That date you have longed to have with someone, do it with yourself, yes take yourself out, go to productive places that will enhance your purpose in life. Take good pictures of yourself, dress nice, and smell nice. Develop yourself. Read good books and stay closer to God in fellowship. This is the time to tend the gardens before the person who will compliment you shows up.