Understanding pastoring, mentoring and coaching in today’s Church

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Oyewole O. Sarumi | Ph.D. ACC. .

 

The title of this piece sums up the tricky balancing act pastors face when they care for, guide, and help their congregations grow. Today’s churches need pastors to take a fresh look at what it means to pastor, mentor, and coach – and to spell out these roles. Church leaders often muddle these roles or get them wrong. This leads to mix-ups and wasted efforts in ministry.

The church today sees spiritual leadership roles changing and growing matching the intricate needs of church members and neighbourhoods. People once saw pastors as spiritual guides and religious experts. Now, they often play many parts—mentor, coach, counsellor, and leader. This multi-sided job needs a careful balance of old pastor duties personal mentor guidance, and aim-focused coach plans. As the church faces today’s social challenges finding and keeping this balance proves key to a ministry that works.

Pastoring is more than just a job title. It involves the complex duties of spiritual care, mentorship, and coaching, which have become more connected in today’s churches. This mixing of roles points to a bigger problem in 21st-century clergy where the lines between these jobs often get fuzzy.

When I thought about how to tackle this topic, I weighed two options. I could compare pastoring, mentoring, and coaching in a Christian setting, or I could look at how these roles interact from a religious point of view. In the end, I decided to zero in on the main issue: finding the right balance between these key functions.

Keep in mind that pastors aren’t always mentors, and mentors aren’t always pastors. A pastor doesn’t become a mentor unless someone asks them, and they agree to take on that role. Many church leaders need to gain a deeper insight into the different roles and skills needed to pastor, mentor, and coach in Christian ministry.

I believe the church today has a clear mismatch of roles often because people don’t understand, don’t know about, or try to combine these separate jobs. This mismatch comes from not getting the unique settings where each role works best.

In an earlier piece, I talked about this topic as “The Leadership Trifecta: Defining and Differentiating Pastoring, Mentoring, and Coaching in Today’s Church.” Many church leaders and pastors find it hard to tell the difference between those who pastor them, and the mentors and coaches who have helped them along their ministry path.

About ten years back, in the beginning of 2011, the Pastoral Leadership Institute did a small study with 180 church leaders who were our students for nine months. What we found was eye-opening: around 95% of the people we talked to, thought their church leaders who were pastoring them were also their mentors and coaches. This study showed we needed to teach more about how these roles are different, and where they might overlap. Now, years later, many of those who went through this training get these differences better, and you can see it in how they run their ministries.

This article wants to look at the jobs of pastoring, mentoring, and coaching. It aims to tear them apart and show where they overlap. It stresses how important it is to be purposeful when doing these jobs in ministry. This piece will also look at the separate but linked roles of pastoring, mentoring, and coaching in the church. We look at these roles through meanings, comparisons, and useful tips. Our goal? To give church leaders insights on how to balance care, guidance, and growth in their work. This balance is key to boosting spiritual growth, personal progress, and community health, while helping church leaders meet the many needs of their members without failing in their responsibilities.

 

 

1. DEFINITIONS OF KEY TERMS

To grasp how pastoring, mentoring, and coaching work in the church, we need to spell out what these terms mean. They all involve guiding and backing others, but each job comes with its duties and methods.

1. Pastoring:

This refers to what a pastor does. A pastor leads, looks after, guides, and teaches a church group. People often see pastors as shepherds watching over their flock. They preach, perform religious rites, and offer advice and help to church members. The Bible shapes what a pastor does, with a focus on helping individuals and the whole community grow.

1. Mentoring:

This happens when someone with know-how and trust guides, supports, and advises a less seasoned person. In churches, mentoring means sharing wisdom, insights, and life lessons to help others build their faith, become better leaders, or improve their personal lives. Unlike pastoring, which tends to be official and tied to an institution, mentoring is more casual, one-on-one, and zeroes in on helping the mentee grow as an individual.

1. Coaching:

Those with coaching skills helps a person or group reach specific personal or professional targets. In churches, coaching might involve assisting people to develop their spiritual gifts, tackle challenges, or achieve certain results in their ministry or personal lives. Coaching is different from mentoring because it emphasizes setting and reaching goals. It uses tools and strategies to boost growth and development.

1. Church

The Church is conceptually defined as a community of believers who are spiritually united through their faith in Jesus Christ. It serves as the body of Christ on earth, functioning as a collective entity that carries out His mission and teachings. The Church also represents a sacred institution where worship, fellowship, and sacraments are practiced, nurturing spiritual growth and moral guidance for its members. It is both a visible organization with structures and a mystical body transcending individual congregations, embodying the global Christian community.

1. COMPARING AND CONTRASTING PASTORING, MENTORING, AND COACHING

Pastoring, mentoring, and coaching have things in common. They all involve giving guidance, offering support, and helping people grow. But each one is different in how it works, what kind of relationship it involves, and what it aims to achieve. Church leaders need to understand these differences to balance these roles well.

1. Relationship Dynamics:

• Pastoring: The way pastors and their congregations interact is quite structured and top-down, with the pastor acting as the church’s spiritual guide and boss. This connection tends to last a long time stemming from the pastor’s job as a shepherd who looks after the spiritual health of everyone in the church. The relationship has an influence on the sense of obligation and accountability where the pastor provides direction, lessons, and help to the church members.

• Mentoring: Mentoring builds on personal casual relationships often rooted in mutual respect and trust. Mentors guide and advise sharing their experiences and insights to help mentees grow. Unlike how pastors work with their congregations, mentoring involves one-on-one or small group interactions, which allows for deeper more tailored connections. These relationships can last for a short time or continue long-term, depending on what the mentee needs and aims to achieve.

• Coaching: Coaches and coachees team up to reach specific goals in coaching relationships. These partnerships have structure and clear objectives. The coach offers guidance, gives feedback, and provides support, but both parties work together rather than in a top-down way. Coaching has a set timeframe starting and ending when certain goals are met. It aims to empower coachees to take charge of their own growth and progress. Coaches help their clients develop skills and overcome obstacles, but the coachees do the heavy lifting when it comes to making changes and achieving results.

2. Approach and Methodology:

• Pastoring: Pastoring takes a well-rounded approach. It deals with spiritual needs and addresses emotional, social, and at times physical needs. Pastors give spiritual advice, deliver sermons, educate, and provide pastoral care. This care includes checking on sick people helping those who are sad and backing folks during big life changes. Their method is often straightforward and based on authority rooted in the Bible and church teachings. People see pastors as guides who lead their group with smarts and kindness making sure the spiritual health of the church members stays strong.

• Mentoring: Mentoring has a more personal touch and less structure aiming to help the mentee grow. The mentor passes on what they know, their experiences, and their thoughts giving advice and feedback to support the mentee in their work and personal life. This approach suggests rather than tells, with the mentor offering guidance but letting the mentee choose their path. Mentoring often involves both people learning together, with the mentor setting an example and listening to ideas.

• Coaching: Coaching follows a structured approach with clear goals. Coaches use specific methods to help their clients reach their targets. They work with clients to set measurable objectives and create plans to achieve them. The process encourages self-discovery and personal responsibility rather than giving direct advice. Coaches offer support and feedback, but the focus is on empowering clients to take charge of their own growth and success. The approach often includes regular check-ins, evaluations, and tweaks to the coaching plan as needed.

3. Role in Decision-Making:

• Pastoring: Pastors have a big impact on decision-making. They give spiritual advice and share wisdom from the Bible to help people and the church. Many see their decisions as powerful because they know the Bible well and lead the church. Pastors often make choices for the church or help people with personal or faith-related problems.

• Mentoring: Mentors give advice based on what they’ve been through, but they let the mentee make the final call. A mentor’s job is to offer a different point of view, share what they’ve learned, and push the mentee to think hard about their options. Mentoring isn’t about giving straight answers. Instead, it’s about helping the mentee get better at making choices on their own.

• Coaching: In coaching, the coachee has the power to make their own choices, while the coach plays the role of a helper rather than someone who decides. The coach assists the coachee in looking at different options, thinking about the good and bad points, and coming up with ways to make smart choices. The focus is on finding things out for yourself and taking charge, with the coach giving advice and backing but not telling the coachee what to do.

4. Accountability:

• Pastoring: Pastors keep their congregation responsible for spiritual principles and church teachings. They guide people on how to live a life that matches biblical values and may correct or discipline when needed. Pastors also answer to their church leadership and congregation making sure they fulfill their role’s duties with honesty and loyalty.

• Mentoring: Mentors boost responsibility by setting goals with the mentee and checking on progress often. The mentor gives feedback and support helping the mentee stay focused on their personal and work growth. While the mentor offers advice, the mentee has the final say in their improvement and achievements.

• Coaching: Coaches set up a system to keep people on track. They do this by setting goals you can measure and checking how things are going often. The person being coached has to take action and reach their goals. The coach helps and gives feedback as they go. Both the coach and the person they’re helping are responsible for making sure the coaching works well. They’re both committed to making the process a success.

5. Reach:

• Pastoring: The pastor has an influence on more than just individual church members; it extends to the whole congregation and community. Pastors play a crucial role in guiding the church’s spiritual direction, leading worship, and being the face of the church in the wider community. Their impact is often wide-reaching and enduring, influencing not just only the spiritual lives of people but also the overall well-being and energy of the church.

• Mentoring: The mentor has a more focused influence on one person or a small group of mentees. Mentoring can have a big impact, but it stays within the areas the mentee wants to improve. Mentors might also affect their mentees’ work or personal connections, but they care about their direct bond with the mentee.

• Coaching: A coach has a similar focus but aims to reach specific goals. Coaches team up with people or groups to boost performance, build skills, and get measurable results. How long a coach works with someone and how well it goes can determine their impact. The coach’s effect might last if the person they’re coaching puts what they’ve learned to use.

 WHY PASTORS MUST DEVELOP MENTORING AND COACHING SKILLS

Pastors wear many hats in their congregations’ lives. They offer spiritual guidance, give emotional support, and provide practical advice. To boost their impact, pastors need to hone their mentoring and coaching skills. These abilities don’t just improve how pastors connect with their flock. They also equip pastors with valuable tools to help others grow. Let’s look at some key perks pastors can gain by building these skills:

1. New Perspectives:

A mentor or coach helps pastors look at challenges from different angles, like “turning the wood in the fire of life and ministry” to check every side. Ministry situations are often tricky and have many sides needing a careful approach. By learning mentoring and coaching skills, pastors can guide their church members to explore different ways to solve their problems helping them see beyond what’s right in front of them. This wider view can show solutions they might have missed before leading to better problem-solving and spiritual growth.

1. Increased Confidence:

Mentoring and coaching boost confidence, not just for those who receive guidance but also for the pastors themselves. These relationships help pastors trust their own skills and decisions while also enabling others to do the same. By tapping into others’ wisdom and experience as well as their own, pastors can handle tricky situations more. For instance, ongoing mentoring bonds with experienced leaders can offer priceless insights helping pastors to foresee challenges and grab opportunities with self-assurance.

1. Identifying and Addressing Compromises:

As pastors carry out their ministry, they might face situations that tempt them to compromise, which could harm their work. Skills in mentoring and coaching help pastors spot these compromises. These could involve outside factors like managing money or inner struggles like doubting oneself. By pinpointing areas where compromise might lead to bad outcomes, pastors can support their church members to stick to their values and choose actions that match their faith. This forward-thinking approach not only builds up personal integrity but also maintains the overall spiritual well-being of the church.

1. Enhanced Leadership Development:

When pastors improve their mentoring and coaching abilities, they become key players in growing leaders within their church. By guiding new leaders and helping them tackle obstacles, pastors make sure the next group of church leaders is ready and strong in their beliefs. This focus on building up leaders is crucial to keep the church thriving and expanding over time. It creates a steady stream of capable people who can move the ministry forward.

1. Stronger Connections:

Mentoring and coaching build deep trusting relationships. This helps pastors form tighter bonds with their church members leading to a more involved and dedicated community. When people feel their pastor supports and understands them, they’re more likely to take part in church activities and support its goals. These close relationships lay the groundwork for a lively growing church community.

1. Personal and Professional Growth:

The process of learning and using mentoring and coaching skills helps pastors grow. These skills push pastors to learn non-stop, think about themselves, and adapt – all key for good ministry in our changing world. As pastors get better at guiding and coaching others, they also improve their own spiritual life and leadership. This makes them more effective and influential in their job.

To wrap up, pastors who want to guide their congregation, and well need to build their mentoring and coaching skills. These skills don’t just help – they’re crucial. They offer many perks: fresh viewpoints more self-assurance deeper bonds, and better leadership growth. All these contribute to a livelier healthier church.

BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF MENTORING AND COACHING

The Bible provides several rich examples of mentoring and coaching, showcasing how leaders have guided and nurtured others in their spiritual journeys.

1. Jesus and Peter

Jesus Christ was a remarkable teacher to Peter. Their relationship involved Jesus giving guidance, correction, and encouragement. The Bible shows us glimpses of these valuable moments. For example, Jesus scolded Peter when he stood against the path to the Cross (Matthew 16:23). Also, Jesus forgave Peter and gave him back his role after Peter denied him (John 21:15-17). These events changed Peter’s life. They shaped him into the leader he later became.

1. Moses and Joshua

Moses acted as Joshua’s guide and teacher getting him ready to guide the Israelites to the Promised Land. He taught Joshua, showed him how to lead, and gave him important jobs. In Numbers 27:18-20, Moses put his hands on Joshua naming him as the next leader. This teaching relationship ended with Joshua taking charge of Israel after Moses died leading the people and with strong belief (Joshua 1:1-9).

3. Elijah and Elisha

The bond between Elijah and Elisha stands out as a powerful case of mentorship in the Bible. Elijah took Elisha under his wing asking him to tag along and soak up knowledge. This paved the way for Elisha to take over his prophetic duties. In 2 Kings 2:9-10, we see Elijah asking Elisha what he can do for him before he goes up to heaven. Elisha’s response? He wants twice the spiritual power Elijah had. This guidance set Elisha up to be a prophet himself. After Elijah left, Elisha stepped into his shoes wielding great power and making a big impact (2 Kings 2:15).

4. Paul and Timothy

Paul’s bond with Timothy stands out as a prime example of mentoring in the New Testament. Paul helped Timothy’s faith grow, gave him guidance in ministry, and offered him personal support. In 1 Timothy 4:12-16, Paul tells Timothy how to act as a leader and urges him not to let his youth make others look down on him. Paul’s letters to Timothy are full of advice helping Timothy become a strong and effective leader in the early church.

5. Jethro and Moses

In a special case of coaching, Moses’ father-in-law Jethro, gives Moses hands-on tips to handle the leadership load of the Israelites. Exodus 18:17-24 shows Jethro watching Moses try to settle all disputes among the people. He then tells Moses to hand over duties to skilled men. This advice helps Moses avoid getting overwhelmed and boosts his leadership effectiveness. Jethro’s guidance stands out as a prime instance of coaching where someone with more experience offers specific pointers to enhance another’s skills.

6. Barnabas and Paul

Barnabas played a crucial role as a mentor to Paul (formerly Saul) in the early stages of his ministry. After Paul’s conversion, many were wary of him due to his past persecution of Christians. However, Barnabas took Paul under his wing, introduced him to the apostles, and vouched for his genuine conversion (Acts 9:26-27). Barnabas later partnered with Paul in missionary work, providing him with valuable support and mentorship as they spread the gospel together (Acts 13:2-3).

HOW CHURCH LEADERS CAN BALANCE CARE, GUIDANCE, AND DEVELOPMENT

Balancing the roles of pastor, mentor, and coach requires church leaders to be purposeful and to understand what each role brings to the ministry. Church leaders must know when to take on each role and how to blend them well to meet the different needs of their congregation.

1. Understand What Each Person Needs:

Church leaders should pay attention to what their congregation members need. Some people might need a pastor to guide them spiritually and look after them. Others might do better with a mentor who gives them personal support or a coach who helps them set and reach goals. By figuring out what each person needs, church leaders can adjust how they help. This one-on-one focus not only makes the bond between leaders and members stronger but also makes sure each person gets the care and guidance they need to grow in their faith and as a person.

1. Create a Well-Rounded Ministry Approach:

A well-rounded ministry approach that blends pastoring, mentoring, and coaching can help church leaders give their congregation full support. This method recognizes people’s spiritual, emotional, and growth needs and addresses them through pastoral care mentoring relationships, and coaching tactics. By combining these roles, church leaders can build a more complete and stronger ministry making sure they don’t overlook any part of a member’s growth. This all-in-one approach also builds a tighter community, as members feel backed in every area of their lives.

1. Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations:

Setting clear limits and expectations is essential to juggling multiple roles. Church leaders need to explain to their congregation the different parts of their job making it clear when they’re acting as a pastor, mentor, or coach. This helps prevent mix-ups and ensures people understand the context of the advice they get. It also allows church leaders to manage their time and energy well steering clear of burnout. Plus, clear boundaries help church members grasp the scope of each interaction encouraging respect for the leader’s time and resources.

1. Prioritize Personal and Professional Development:

Church leaders should make their own personal and professional growth a top priority to balance these roles well. This might include getting training in coaching methods, finding mentors, or going to workshops about pastoral care. When leaders invest in their own growth, they boost their ability to serve others and handle the tricky parts of their ministry. Always learning also helps leaders stay flexible and respond to what their congregation needs as it changes, keeping their leadership useful and meaningful.

1. Encourage a Culture of Growth and Development:

Advancing an environment of growth and development in the church can help church leaders balance these roles more. Making spiritual growth a top priority ensures that all activities—whether pastoring, mentoring, or coaching—have their roots in spiritual growth and line up with biblical teachings. Pushing congregation members to seek out mentoring relationships, take part in coaching sessions, and join in spiritual growth activities builds a community that’s always learning and developing. This environment supports the church’s overall mission and helps people reach their full potential, both in their spiritual lives and personal lives.

1. Recognize the Distinct Roles:

Knowing how pastors, mentors, and coaches each make their own special impact and work together plays a key role in building a healthy church. Seeing these differences helps church leaders pick the right approach for different situations making sure they meet the needs of the church members in a well-rounded and effective way. This knowledge also helps stop roles from overlapping, which can cause mix-ups and make things less effective.

1. Create a Culture of Mentorship:

Promoting mentorship in the church through structured and casual mentoring programs enables experienced leaders to steer rising ones. This mentorship culture strengthens the leadership pipeline and builds deeper connections within the church. Matching veteran leaders with newcomers or those seeking growth creates a supportive setting where wisdom flows down, and emerging leaders receive nurturing in their spiritual and personal growth.

1. Put Coaching Strategies into Action:

Using coaching methods to assist people in setting and reaching specific spiritual and personal targets ensures that the coaching process lines up with the church’s mission. Coaches can inspire church members to take charge of their growth helping them create doable plans and offering accountability. This planned approach to growth helps people make clear progress in their spiritual journey personal life, and church involvement, in the end adding to the overall health and energy of the church.

1. Nurture Open Communication:

Keeping communication channels open between all church members has an impact on the quality of pastoring, mentoring, and coaching through feedback and discussion. When church leaders stay in touch with their congregation’s needs and worries, they can tweak their methods as needed. It also builds trust and openness in the church making members feel valued and heard. This back-and-forth of ideas and feedback is key to getting better all the time and keeping a strong supportive church community.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR CHURCH LEADERSHIP

To balance pastoring, mentoring, and coaching well, church leadership should think about these suggestions:

1. Push for Teamwork Among Church Leaders:

Church leaders should join forces to back the congregation knowing that each leader adds unique strengths to the ministry. Working together can make sure the congregation’s different spiritual and personal growth needs are met. This might involve giving out roles based on what each person does best—some leaders might focus on caring for people, others on guiding, and others on training. By creating a team spirit, the church can offer more complete and useful ministry.

1. Give Church Leaders Training and Tools:

Putting money into ongoing training and resources helps church leaders balance their roles better. This can include workshops that teach modern coaching methods, tools to mentor, and advanced training in pastoral care. By giving church leaders these tools, the church makes its ministry stronger and ensures its leaders are ready to handle the changing needs of the congregation.

1. Create a Supportive Environment to Mentor and Coach:

Church leaders should create a supportive setting that encourages mentoring and coaching relationships among church members. This could include starting official mentoring programs, holding regular coaching meetings, and giving resources to people who want to grow. By building this kind of environment, the church can help its members strengthen and deepen their faith.

1. Combine Pastoral Care with Mentoring and Coaching:

Leaders should try to combine pastoral care with mentoring and coaching offering a more complete approach to ministry. For instance, a pastor might give spiritual guidance while also mentoring to develop leadership skills or coaching to help people reach personal goals. This combined approach makes sure church members get well-rounded support that addresses both their spiritual and everyday needs.

1. Keep Tabs on and Tweak Church Programs:

It’s key to keep checking if church strategies are hitting the mark. Church leaders should ask members what they think, or see how well mentoring and coaching are working, and make changes to better help the community. This hands-on approach makes sure the church stays in tune with what its members need as things change.

1. Make the Most of Technology:

Use technology to make mentoring and coaching relationships easier and better. You can use online tools for virtual meetings sharing resources and keeping in touch. This helps leaders connect and support each other in big or spread-out congregations. Technology also lets you track progress and give feedback right away, making sure mentorship and coaching are easy to access and work well.

7. Celebrate Successes:

Acknowledge and honour the accomplishments of church members to stress the importance of mentoring and coaching. These celebrations might include public recognition during worship, written testimonials, or special events that showcase personal and spiritual growth. By honouring these successes, the church inspires others to take part in these relationships and builds an environment of gratitude and support.

1. Develop a Culture of Continuous Learning:

Create a culture in the church that values ongoing learning and personal growth. Urge leaders and members to seek new knowledge, skills, and experiences that can boost their spiritual journey and service to others. This dedication to learning will help the church adapt to new challenges and opportunities in its ministry.

1. Make Mentorship and Coaching Programs Welcome to Everyone:

Make sure mentoring and coaching programs include and represent all parts of the church community. This means creating chances for people of all backgrounds, ages, and life experiences to coach others and get coaching themselves. By building a varied and welcoming environment, the church can benefit from many different viewpoints and ideas making the whole community richer.

CONCLUSION

Rediscovering the balance between pastoring, mentoring, and coaching is essential for church leaders who seek to meet the diverse needs of their congregation. Each role—pastor, mentor, and coach—brings unique strengths and approaches to ministry, and by understanding and integrating these roles, church leaders can provide comprehensive care, guidance, and development to their congregation.

Every pastor must seek out a mentor or coach to help them stir up the logs, ideas, dreams, and possibilities in their lives, whilst they also extend the same to others that they are fortunate to lead. Through mentorship and coaching, the embers of pastoral leadership aspirations can be reignited into a blazing fire of purpose and action that will develop your own leadership and help raise leaders for the ministry and the work of the gospel.

In a contemporary church that faces the challenges of a rapidly changing world, balancing these roles is more important than ever. By recognizing the unique needs of individuals, developing a holistic ministry approach, setting clear boundaries, prioritizing personal and professional development, and cultivating a culture of growth, church leaders can navigate the complexities of their ministry with wisdom and effectiveness.

The goal of balancing pastoring, mentoring, and coaching is to empower individuals to grow in their faith, achieve their personal and professional goals, and contribute to the overall health and vitality of the church community. Once church leaders embrace this balance, they can fulfill their calling to lead, guide, and support their congregation in a way that reflects Christ’s love, wisdom, and grace. Amen!

 

Oyewole O. Sarumi | Ph.D. ACC. is a Chief Strategy Officer, Christian Leadership Institute of Management Development, Ikeja, Lagos, and Faculty, ICLED Business School, Lekki, Lagos