Immediate past General Overseer of Upper Room Baptist Church, Ketu, Lagos, Pastor Oluleke Akinola and his wife, Boade, on Sunday, May 4, celebrated their 40 years of union in Lagos with several couples in attendance to celebrate with them.
The event, which lasted about four hours, was also an opportunity for the couple to launch the book “Help, my marriage is failing!” written by Pastor Mrs Boade Akinola, the YouTube weekly programme, Leave2cleave and the website http://www.leave2cleave.org.
The list of dignitaries and couples at the event was quite impressive, starting with the Lagos Chairman of the Christian Association of Nigeria, Bishop Stephen Adegbite, Bishop Abraham Olaleye, his wife, Gbemi Olaleye, and Pastor Mike Bamiloye and his wife. Gloria.
Also present at the event were the former General Secretary of South West Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria, Rev Toyin Kehinde and his wife, Shade Toyin Kehinde and a host of other couples across different denominations.
Pastor Bisi Adewale and his wife, Yomi including mentees of the celebrants, were at the event. A representative of the former governor of Lagos State, Babatunde Fashola was also at the programme..
Some of the couples at the event shared testimonies of how the Akinolas have impacted them over the years.
Bisi Adewale: Four kinds of marriage
Pastor Bisi Adewale who was guest preacher shared briefly with the participating couples the various kinds of marriage and how they could secure their homes.
Incidentally, that same day was his wedding anniversary. Drawing from his over 20 years of experience in marriage ministry, he gave a rundown of the four kinds of marriage.
The number one kind of marriage, according to him, is the tragic marriage. By that, he meant the marriage that leads to the loss of one or both of the couple. He cited instances of men who killed their wives and wives who killed their husbands.
While noting that many marriages have become chaotic and end in tragedies, he admonished couples to seek help if they notice any trace of violence in their partners.
Adewale also talked about the second kind of marriage, which he called the traumatic marriage. In traumatic marriage he said there is no loss of lives, but the couples are forever in turmoil and disagreement. In this kind of marriage, “nobody will have peace” he said.
The third kind of marriage, according to Adewale, is the plastic marriage. “In this kind of marriage, there is no joy, no peace. The couples are not violent either. But they choose to stay on their lanes. They could be living together and not talk to one another. They may not even do things in common. That is the nature of the plastic kind of marriage.” He said.
He, however, said the best form of marriage that couples should desire and work towards is the romantic marriage. “In this kind of marriage, there is peace, there is joy, there is oneness. The couples experience bliss at home. It’s the biblical marriage. What we term romance is not about sex but joy and peace.” he said .
He explained that “what wrecks many homes is carelessness. Every marriage must have a ‘because’ and that because must be God. Couples must be able to restrain themselves and live in harmony because of God.”
Contrary to what many think, Adewale said neither the wife nor the husband is the cause of chaos and troubles in marriages. “The wife is not the problem. The husband is not the problem. Stop pointing fingers in marriage. The problem may be anything, and it is not your wife or your husband. So, when there is a crisis in marriage, we must find and fix the problem. It is not time for fault-finding.”
Making an analogy, he said, there is what is called the Neutral Animal Syndrome in every home. This is an understanding that every woman or man in marriage is a product of what they are fed. “It is the food you give animals that determines the character they take on. If an animal is fed on flesh instead of bread, it becomes carnivorous and can devour. The man needs to feed his wife with the bread of affection and not the bread of affliction.”
Adewale said further that every marriage can be sweet, but the couples have to provide the sugar for it to be sweet. “Marriage is what we make it to be. You have to be deliberate in making your home sweet. In marriage, it is a mixture of grace and work for it to work. Every marriage is a work in progress.” He said.
Testimonies
Commenting on the celebrants, Bishop Adegbite said their lives have been a great inspiration to many people. He described Pastor Akinola as a man who preaches balanced theology. “We must thank God for his life.”
He took time to pray for the couple along with Bishop Olaleye.
Earlier at the event, which featured the launch of the book, Help, my marriage is failing! a number of couples came out to testify of the great impact of the celebrants in their lives.
They praised the practical and down-to-earth way the couple counsel couples.
Tade Adeyi recalled that he was at their wedding 40 years ago. “I grew up as an unbeliever. I knew how to toast women. But when I became a Christian, it was Daddy (Pastor Akinola) who taught me in a Christian way how to toast a woman. He taught me what to say, and it worked. My wife could not say no to my proposal.
“We are 28 years in marriage. We have learnt a lot. They always give us the kind of counsel you can’t get anywhere.”
Kayode Oladiran also testified about how the lifestyle of the couple impacted and influenced their marriage. “The unique thing about the couple is that they say the same thing even when you approach them differently.”
Dele Olasupo, who spoke on behalf of his wife, stated that the celebrating couple have been a blessing. “They represent everything they have taught us. Daddy is so open and understanding. We don’t have all the time to tell the story. But if you are looking for a marriage to emulate, come to the Akinolas. The couple are a check and balance for us. We thank God for how God has used them to be great blessings to us.”
The event brought together about 100 couples. The celebrants were full of gratitude to God for the grace of living together and being able to impact lives.
Leave2cleave
Leave2Cleave according to information gleaned on www.leave2cleave.org is a weekly YouTube series hosted by Pastor Oluleke Akinola and Pastor Boade Akinola.
The programme offers couples a safe space to explore and navigate their relationships and love journeys using practical, biblical principles.
In each episode, the Akinolas tackle real-life marriage and family challenges, answer burning questions from viewers, and share their personal experiences to offer godly counsel to couples of all ages.
They provide practical tips and strategies for building stronger, healthier relationships, grounded in biblical wisdom
