by Church Times



By Oba Samuel

Marriage is like a new born baby that needs daily attention to survive and any act of negligence will have adverse effect on it.

Many marriages that ended up in divorce court ought not to if only they noticed these signs and give it urgent attention. Likewise, many couples are heading towards divorce without knowing because divorce don’t happen overnight.

What a looming danger

Before many wake up to reality, it would have been too late. No marriage is static. It’s either you are getting deeper intimately or you are in emotional disconnection mode. Unfortunately, many husbands and wives don’t really know the true state of their marriage. If you notice any of the these signs in your union, that means, your marriage needs urgent attention:

*1.If either or both of you have stopped spiritual oxygen:Ephesians 5:1-2 “:Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour. Marriage is a spiritual product, take it out of its source and it dies. No fish can survive outside water.

It is a dangerous signal for either of the spouse or both husband and wife to stop attending a church, stopped praying, personal Bible study and all other spiritual exercises that could serve as oxygen to their spiritual alertness. True love have its source in the supernatural realm. So, to genuinely walk in love, you must be in God who is the source of real love. Anyone outside God can easily engage in infidelity, drunkenness, deceit, wife battery, verbal/physical abuse and divorce. Without the Holy Spirit, people will display all forms of anti-marriage characters.

If your spouse is spiritually cold or backsliden, declare a spiritual restoration emergency. See your spiritual father,mentor or counsellor.


2.When holding of hands has turned to pointing of fingers:Holding of hands signify closeness, friendship, and affection in marriage. But if you’re no more holding hands and you replaced it with pointing accusing fingers at yourselves, engaging in accusations/counter-accusations and blame game. It’s a sign that your marriage needs urgent attention because it can degenerate into open brawl and physical attack.



  1. Emotional disconnection: Successful couples are those with deep emotional connections with strong feelings for each other. If you have lost your emotional high and love spark towards your spouse, it is a signal to loss of affection and heart commitment. once your heart is out,your leg will soon follow If you don’t attend to that marriage urgently. What is the present state of your heart towards your marriage?*


  1. When avoid thrashing issues: If you always avoid facing and trashing your disagreements, displeasures by sweeping them under the carpets, your marriage is sitting on a timed bomb. All unaddressed issues swept under the carpet today will fight your marriage tomorrow. You need to act fast before it explode and affect the root of your marriage because every issue you fail to address now as couples will soon give your marriage a negative address.*


  1. When you are no more in talking terms : In a healthy marriage, couples talk consistently and affectionately as friends. For you and your spouse to have stopped talking with each other for* *months despite living under the same roof ,keep malice for long and sending children to one another in order to pass unavoidable information. When communication dies, marriage cannot survive. This is a pointer to a terribly sick marriage that needs urgent attention. Beware! Couples, who were not in talking terms may soon start talking about divorce.*


  1. Recurring Arguments: Constant arguments over trivial matters to the point that you can’t resolve any issue but to argue aggressively is a sign that both of are not in the same camp and that pride is at play between you. That’s why none of you is ready to lose an argument. Couples who argue always can never sing love songs but war songs.


7.You moved out of the room: Due to disagreements between you and your spouse, you have moved your stuffs out of your matrimonial room and you are now living in the guest’s or children’s room . This is a negative signal that all is not well in that marriage because couples that separate rooms may soon separate in marriage. Do everything possible to back into the same room with your spouse now.


  1. If you’re living apart: Living apart in different states or countries as husbands and wives may open doors for sexual temptations, polygamy or divorce. Many marriages have been buried due to this. The divine order is for husband and wife to live together. Are you living far away from your spouse? Please, take an urgent step to come back together and live as inseparable love birds.
  2. Revengeful: In a lasting marriage, husband and wife have forgiving spirit. If you noticed that you and your spouse can not let go but you’re fond of taking revenge against one another, hurting each* *other and rejoice in seeing your spouse wounded and crying. Vengeance breeds resentment and enmity. It is a sign of major battle that may tear your marriage apart if not handled quickly.*


10.Infidelity: Infidelity is a major virus destroying many marriages in this generation If your husband/wife has been engaging in sexual immorality with someone else; keep side chicks, it will be too difficult for the legitimate spouse to please him/her again. At this stage, you need to fight for the soul of your marriage through prayer ask yourself sincerity questions-what I have done that pushed my spouse into this mess? What can I do to get my spouse back? Quickly, declare an emergency on your marital issues, weed out this bad pest and don’t say “I don’t have time to seek for counsel or pray.

  1. No more sexual Intimacy: Sex is marriage lubricants. If it’s not present, the engine of marriage will be grounded. Constant sex in marriage breeds pleasure, affection and renew marriage covenant. In a healthy marriage, couples should have sex at least twice in a week and can be more.but if as husbands and wives, you have stopped having sexual intercourse for months or years,* It is a warning signal that your marriage need urgent attention. Bedroom problems can rock the boat of any marriage if not address quickly. See your Pastor or a counsellor quickly lest your marriage end in marital mortuary. Early detection of marital challenges and timely attention will save your marriage from ending in divorce.



Your Family Coach,

Oba Samuel

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