Aso Ebi (party uniform) and marriage: taking a firm decision
It’s a good thing to be married! That’s something many married couples cannot say today. The saying, “Proper preparation prevents poor performance” is applicable to everything we do in life – even marriage. I’ve had my fair share of challenges in marriage, but certain steps taken before tying the nuptial knot kept my home from certain needless problems.
My wife and I, during courtship, took time to discuss extensively on issues like number of children to have, where to live and how much to pay for rent before we build/buy our own house, how to relate with our in-laws and what to give them whenever they come visiting, as well as our perspectives towards ‘Aso Ebis’ (party uniforms), Multi-level Marketing, ranting and nagging in the home.
We took FIRM DECISIONS on all these things, and I said to her, “My Dream is to have a home where Isaiah 25:4 and 32:2 shall find practical fulfilment. I want to build a home where any friend or relation that is troubled/challenged over any matter should be able to say, “If I can just get to Dele Aina’s Home, I know I’ll find SUCCOUR there.” We’re on our way there.
Now, take for example the issue of ‘Aso Ebi’, we decided not to be a part of that ‘foolish traditional practice’ – one that is very popular among my tribe – the Yorubas. I specifically told my fiancée then, “I don’t believe in ‘Aso Ebi’, and I don’t buy it! So, don’t come and tell me that someone is getting married, or died, in your family and we should buy ‘Aso Ebi’, I won’t! It wasn’t a hard decision for us to make at all because I’m graced to have married a woman is not given to such frivolities. Friends and other acquaintances initially found it unsettling whenever we declined their ‘Aso Ebis’, ‘Geles’ (head gears) and ‘Filas’ (caps) for weddings and funerals, but over time, have come to ACCEPT and RESPECT our STAND!
We never sold such during our wedding or my mom’s burial. I’ll give envelopes and render any other support, but NEVER to appear in ‘Aso Ebi’ for anyone! We’ve turned it down at all levels: in the office, in the extended family, from friends and ex-schoolmates, from socialites in churches, etc. And, I can’t begin to tell you how much Money and Wardrobe Space that single decision has saved me and my family.
However, once, we were ‘tricked’ into donning one by a pastor friend and his wife who pressured and cajoled my wife into coasting along with their desire to have us wear the same attire at a burial. Truth is, that diminished my respect for that couple. Let people be who they are if what they are does not NEGATE GOD’S WORD in any way.
We’ll wear uniform T-shirts, caps and Jeans for a Godly or Humanitarian Cause. Let’s don uniforms/’Aso Ebis’ and embark on PEACEFUL PROTESTS to Aso Rock, the National Assembly, and other State Secretariats to DEMAND for Righteousness, Justice, Equity, Accountability and Fairness.
Those are SENSIBLE Uniforms to put hard-earned income on, and NOT on ‘Aso Ebi’ for burials, weddings, birthdays, house warmings and other transient gatherings of no lasting values.
In my dictionary, that’s Utter Nonsense, and we don’t indulge in such wastes!