Greetings to all, my friends, brothers and sisters in Jesus name. Amen.
I trust God you’re doing well today. Amen, hallelujah! It’s another day, a good day that the Lord has made, let’s rejoice and be glad in it, knowing that, although there may be challenges, we’re more than conquerors in Jesus name, Amen.
We continue the series, Counting the Cost, looking at the marriage estate in all the ramifications that we are able to cover in this second part, which began last week.
I have divided this edition into three sections, A, B C. The first is a prayer for couples. The second deals with 10 major things to avoid in marriage and the third will focus on what the Bible says about marriage.
However, before we get into all of those, I was led in this sermon to pray for those facing marital challenges in different areas; but I will begin this prayer by focusing on just 5 areas in this sermon: suitors, the newly married, provisions, health and fidelity.
A: Section 1:
PRAYER FOR COUPLES –
Father, we thank you because you hear me always. I have a testimony that I have no backlog of unanswered prayers. Even, now I know you will answer me as I intercede on behalf of my readers who are seeking the right marriage partners in a world governed by deception, falsehood and demons.
Lord, I ask that you guide men and women reading this sermon, in their choice of marriage partners so that their choices would be according to your will for their lives in Jesus name, Amen and Amen.
Lord, most newly married couples often face diverse and complicated challenges in managing real life differences in the areas of finances, care, worship, jobs, attention and love. Father, help them to navigate these challenges and teach them how to tolerate each other. I beseech you, oh Lord, that you let your Spirit rule their hearts and mind, and settle them amicably in marriage in Jesus name, Amen.
Our God and Father, we ask for your healing for couples who are battling grave health challenges, whether it be emotional crisis, cancers, prostate conditions, whatever it is, by your stripes, they are healed in Jesus name, Amen, Amen.
Finally, today, my intercession ends with a request to help those battling infidelity in marriage, and loyalty during courtship, to remain faithful to their partners and retrace their wandering steps back to fidelity in Jesus name, Amen, Amen.
Father, I bless your holy name, I thank you for this privilege you gave us in Christ to cast our care upon you. Glory to God in the highest, hallelujah!
B: 10 BASIC THINGS TO AVOID IN MARRIAGE –
There several things to avoid, especially when choosing a marriage partner. We can only cover 10 in this sermon –
1: Don’t marry until you’re ready and fully prepared emotionally, materially, physically, financially, and spiritually.
You don’t throw your hat into the ring until you’re ready to fight. Marriage is not a battle field but you will face situations that you don’t expect, like those who are involved in real life warfare.
So, you need to be prepared. You must be intentional, firm and decisive before you get into this after you have committed your ways to God.
2: Don’t marry an unbeliever. It’s important you marry a partner with whom you share the same faith, the Christian faith. A Christian should not marry an unbeliever. This could define how the marriage would go. This is absolutely important. Darkness and light cannot abide.
3: Don’t marry someone without courtship. Don’t marry someone you don’t know well enough, and clearly, it’s during courtship that character, beliefs, attitudes, and many important traits are revealed. Courtship is very important in this early period.
3: Don’t marry because of beauty, good looks, or other physical endowments that may fade or wither with the passage of time. These features have their seasons, they blossom in youth and lose their luster with age Nobody stays the same forever.
4: Don’t marry without parental consent; even if you’re an often orphan, you must have senior citizens in the family who can give you out in marriage. Don’t go it alone; you need family members to endorse, and support you. It’s a time -tested, culture and tradition.
5: Don’t marry someone who does not love you. If they show no genuine interest, and commitment end the relationship right away. Love is the basis of any relationship. It is the bedrock, never compromise on this important issue.
6: Don’t marry a lazy partner. If you do, you’re doomed. A lazy partner will hurt you in every way. They cannot be good helpers. Avoid them, don’t get involved with someone who is not hard working, and diligent. They will depend on you for everything.
7: Don’t marry a fortune hunter, or gold digger. If you marry for money, you can’t last in marriage. Money is important, but don’t set it as a target in getting a marriage partner. If you do, you would be disappointed. Those who marry to escape poverty hardly ever fulfil their dreams. Very often, heartbreaks are the consequences.
8: Don’t marry because of peer pressure. Make your choice, do it at your own pace, nobody will rescue you if you run into trouble, when storms occur in marriage due to wrong timing, choice or bad decisions that were taken due to external pressure.
9: Don’t marry to gain some pecuniary advantage, like visa, jobs, promotion, etc. These things don’t last and they tend to lose their allure once the real motive behind the marriage is either achieved, or when they fall short.
10: Don’t marry just to kill boredom, satisfy sexual urges, to get companion for a season and any other ephemeral advantage. These things wither with time because they are not inspired by love.
C: Section 3-
BIBLE TEACHINGS ON MARRIAGE
1: Love -The most important instruction we see in marriage, from the perspective of the Bible is that the husband should love his wife.
We presume that this injunction covers even those in courtship. A man should love his partner from the stage of courtship and maintain that attitude in marriage.
According to Ephesians 5:25-
‘
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave his life for it…’
This is amazing!
But it’s not a one sided responsibility. In Ephesians 5:22, we read- Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord…
This shows that, love should come from the husband to the wife, who is commanded to submit. Submission attracts love, and vice versa. The absence of this understanding often creates problems in relationships. Eph 5:28-29.These verses say, a man and his wife are one flesh, and nobody can hate his own flesh. As a husband, if you love your wife, you love your flesh, because a woman came out of a man’s flesh. We shared that in last week’s teaching.
I recommend that you study Eph 5 carefully. I have found that, wives reserve their enduring love for their children, which is not a bad idea, but they are supposed to share their love with their husbands. Check Eph 5:33. Wives are commanded to reverence their husbands. You cannot revere what you don’t love. This reverence that the Bible commands here is not based on any condition, it’s a commandment.
Let’s turn for a moment to children.
Eph 6:2-4 deals with this matter:
These verses say to children: ‘Children, honour they father and mother, (which is the first commandment with promise;)That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on earth. ‘Wow!
So, longevity of our children is tied to the obedience of this commandment? Rebellion is a reason why many children fail in life, and in extreme cases, some die prematurely. This is a vital point to note, because some women instigate their children to dishonour their husbands, especially, when crisis arise in the family.
The relationships between parents, and the attitude of children are fundamental to family amity and they must not be taken for granted.
However, fathers also have an obligation to children.Eph 6:4 states this fact: And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord’. Hallelujah!
The way children are nurtured is important because they determine how they grow up, the values they embrace and mindset they will have. No wonder, the Bible says, parents should bring up their children in the way they should go, so that when they grow up, they will not depart from it. The foundation is always important to any structure. When children are not raised properly, they become dysfunctional when they grow up into fully fledged adults. At this stage, they can’t be corrected.
Finally in this section, I will round up with servants, or maidservants. I want my readers to go through this scripture carefully at their own convenience.
Eph 6:5-9 is fairly long. It speaks of how servants should relate in obedience to their masters and how masters should relate with their servants.
The mismanagement of these type of relationships have ruined many happy homes. Disloyal servants act in rebellion and cause crisis in many homes.
This important scripture tells us how servants should be managed.
I have focused today on this aspect of husband and wife, relationship according biblical instructions because, lack of knowledge of this aspect often leads to conflicts and, ultimately, divorce.
Next week, God willing, we shall deal with other marital issues.
Thank you for reading.
Ladi Ayodeji, author, minister of the gospel, counselor and journalist, can be reached on 09059243004(WhatsApp only).