By Ladi Ayodeji
Good day to you, wherever you are, dearly beloved. I trust God that you are doing well.
Today, we shall be looking at love, one of the most misunderstood concepts across cultures, languages, and climes.
Love is viewed through different lenses, depending on age, gender, religious and cultural beliefs, social status, educational qualifications, marital status, and other factors.
However, from the perspective of the Bible, the Holy Scriptures, which are our rule of faith and practice, we are called to understand and express love as God defines it, rather than merely according to human opinions, emotions, or cultural expectations.
Let us examine some of the popular misconceptions about love and discover what genuine love truly means.
WHAT LOVE IS NOT
- Love is not just about sexual gratification.
Many people mistakenly equate love with sexual pleasure. Of course, within a lawful marriage, sexual intimacy is a legitimate expression of love between husband and wife. However, true love goes far beyond sexual intercourse. It involves commitment, sacrifice, faithfulness, patience, understanding, and genuine concern for the well-being of one’s partner.
Biblical references: Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:3–5; Ephesians 5:25.
- True love is not merely a spontaneous emotional experience triggered by physical appearance or lustful desire.
Physical attraction may initiate a relationship, but it is not sufficient to sustain genuine love. True love goes beyond outward appearance and fleeting emotions. It recognises the worth of the other person and seeks their good.
Biblical references: 1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Corinthians 13:4–7.
- Genuine, lasting love does not yield to seduction.
True love is not easily swayed by temptation or unfaithfulness. It is guided by commitment, moral conviction, and respect for the relationship. Genuine love does not deliberately betray the trust of another for temporary pleasure.
Biblical references: Proverbs 5:3–8; Matthew 5:27–28.
- Love cannot be bought.
Money, gifts, and material possessions may attract attention or express affection, but they cannot purchase genuine love. True love is freely given; it is not a commodity to be acquired through wealth, bribery, or material inducement.
Biblical references: Song of Solomon 8:7; Acts 8:18–20.
- Love is not fatal attraction.
What some people describe as fatal attraction may be an unhealthy obsession, delusion, or destructive attachment rather than genuine love. Such attachments can cause people to lose their sense of judgment, ignore warning signs, and engage in harmful behaviour. From a Christian perspective, we must be careful not to confuse destructive obsession with the love God commands.
True love is not forced on anyone. Rather, it grows through mutual respect, sincerity, understanding, and a willingness to give oneself to the relationship freely.
Biblical references: 1 Corinthians 13:4–5; Galatians 5:22–23.
- Love is not a passing emotional experience.
Love is more than a temporary feeling that comes and goes with changing circumstances. Although emotions may accompany love, genuine love is also expressed through deliberate choices, consistent actions, and commitment. It is not sustained by feelings alone.
Biblical references: 1 John 3:18; 1 Corinthians 13:7–8.
- True love does not forsake others in times of adversity.
Genuine love does not disappear when circumstances become difficult. It stands firm through trials, offers support in times of distress, and remains faithful when sacrifice is required. This does not mean tolerating abuse or enabling wrongdoing; rather, it means demonstrating sincere concern and commitment even when life becomes challenging.
Biblical references: Proverbs 17:17; Ruth 1:16–17; 1 Corinthians 13:7.
THE DIFFERENT KINDS AND EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE
Love manifests itself in different relationships and in our attachment to people, places, and things. However, not every form of affection is identical, and not every attachment reflects the character of God’s love.
Let us consider some of its expressions.
- Love for God and love for our neighbours
The Bible commands us to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. Jesus identified this as the greatest and first commandment.
The second is to love our neighbours as ourselves.
Jesus explained that all the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
Biblical references: Matthew 22:36–40; Mark 12:29–31.
- Love between parents and children
The love between parents and their children is one of the most familiar expressions of love. Parental care, protection, discipline, and sacrifice can help us understand something of God’s fatherly love for His children.
Biblical references: Psalm 103:13; Ephesians 6:4.
- Love between siblings
The bond between brothers and sisters can be expressed through affection, loyalty, mutual support, and concern for one another.
Biblical references: Genesis 45:4–15; Romans 12:10.
- Love between relatives
Love also exists among extended family members. This can be demonstrated through care, responsibility, hospitality, and support during difficult times.
Biblical references: 1 Timothy 5:8; Romans 12:13.
- Love between friends
True friendship is built on trust, loyalty, honesty, and mutual concern. A genuine friend does not merely celebrate with you in good times but also stands by you when challenges arise.
Biblical references: Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 18:24.
- Love and attachment to one’s country, city, places, and interests
People develop strong attachments to their countries, cities, communities, sporting clubs, films, books, famous personalities, political figures, domestic pets, and material possessions such as cars and other valuables.
These attachments may reflect patriotism, admiration, enjoyment, companionship, or personal preference. However, we must ensure that none of them takes the place of God or becomes an unhealthy obsession.
Biblical references: Exodus 20:3; Matthew 6:19–21.
- Romantic love between lovers and married couples
Romantic love is an important expression of human affection. Within marriage, it should be accompanied by faithfulness, mutual respect, selflessness, and a willingness to nurture the relationship.
Biblical love between husband and wife is not merely about physical attraction or sexual satisfaction; it also involves sacrificial commitment and mutual care.
Biblical references: Song of Solomon 8:6–7; Ephesians 5:21–33.
- Love for benefactors
We naturally feel affection and gratitude towards those who have helped us, supported us, or contributed positively to our lives. Such appreciation is good, but Christian love must go beyond what we receive from others.
Jesus taught His followers to love even those who do not reciprocate their love.
Biblical references: Luke 6:32–35; Matthew 5:44–46.
GOD’S KIND OF LOVE
The greatest love is the love of God, followed by the love we are commanded to show our neighbours.
Jesus taught that we should love our neighbours as ourselves. This command is not restricted to our friends, girlfriends, wives, siblings, relatives, or people who share our opinions. It extends to others, including those who may be difficult to love.
Our neighbour is not simply someone we like; it is also someone whose needs we must be willing to recognise and respond to with compassion.
Biblical references: Matthew 22:37–40; Luke 10:25–37.
The Bible declares:
“God is love.” — 1 John 4:8
This does not merely mean that God demonstrates love; it reveals something fundamental about His character. His love is expressed through His mercy, faithfulness, compassion, and redemptive purpose for humanity.
We can never love God too much, for He is our Creator and Father. Our love for Him should therefore be expressed in sincere worship, obedience to His Word, constant prayer and fellowship, love for others, and a life of holiness.
Jesus Himself said:
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.” — John 14:15 (KJV)
Our love for God must therefore go beyond words, songs, and outward religious expressions. It must be evident in the way we live and relate to others.
Biblical references: John 14:21; 1 John 5:3.
HOW THE BIBLE DEFINES TRUE LOVE
One of the clearest descriptions of genuine love in the Bible is found in 1 Corinthians 13:1–8.
The Apostle Paul explains that even if a person speaks with the tongues of men and angels, possesses the gift of prophecy, understands mysteries, has extraordinary faith, gives away all their possessions, or sacrifices their body, these things amount to nothing without love.
In other words, spiritual gifts, knowledge, generosity, sacrifice, and impressive religious activities cannot replace genuine love.
Paul then describes the character of true love:
- Love is patient. It does not rush to condemn or give up on others.
- Love is kind. It expresses goodness and compassion in practical ways.
- Love does not envy. It is not resentful of another person’s blessings or achievements.
- Love does not boast or become proud. It does not seek to elevate itself above others.
- Love does not behave dishonourably. It treats others with dignity and respect.
- Love is not self-seeking. It does not make personal gratification its only concern.
- Love is not easily provoked. It exercises restraint rather than allowing anger to dictate its actions.
- Love keeps no record of wrongs. It does not continually weaponise past offences against others.
- Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. Genuine love does not celebrate evil or encourage destructive behaviour.
- Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. It remains steadfast and hopeful without abandoning truth, wisdom, or godly principles.
- Love never fails. Unlike temporary gifts and passing circumstances, love has an enduring place in God’s purpose.
Biblical reference: 1 Corinthians 13:1–8.
This is what true love is all about.
Imagine a world in which people genuinely practised these principles in their homes, marriages, friendships, churches, workplaces, communities, and nations.
There would be greater understanding, less bitterness, more compassion, stronger relationships, and a greater commitment to peace and justice. Our world would undoubtedly be a better place.
THE GREATEST EXPRESSION OF LOVE
Finally, Jesus said it all:
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” — John 15:13 (KJV)
These words reveal the sacrificial nature of true love. The greatest expression of love is not merely what we say or feel, but what we are willing to give for the good of others.
Jesus demonstrated this love through His death on the cross. He laid down His life for humanity, providing the ultimate demonstration of divine love.
The Apostle Paul further explains that God demonstrated His love towards us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Biblical reference: Romans 5:8.
No discussion of true love is complete without acknowledging the love of Christ, who did not merely teach about love but demonstrated it through His life, death, and resurrection.
May God help us to understand love as He defines it and to demonstrate it in our daily lives.
We shall revisit this subject some other time.
Thank you for reading. Enjoy your day, and remain blessed!
Ladi Ayodeji is a Bible-based Motivational Speaker, Author, Journalist, Gospel Minister, and Counsellor. He can be reached on WhatsApp: 09059243004.