By Tosin Adeniyi
After more than three decades of marriage, Reverend Christie Bature reveals why she separated from her husband, citing repeated infidelity and what she described as a “line” that was eventually crossed.
Bature is the founder of the 180° Rehabilitation Centre, based in Port Harcourt, a facility born out of personal tragedy (she lost six siblings to addiction) aimed at helping others overcome substance abuse)
Speaking during an interview circulating on YouTube, Rev. Christie Bature who is also a relationship counselor disclosed that her decision to leave her marriage was not sudden, but came after years of enduring betrayal and seeking divine direction.
“I swam through the murky water of infidelity alone,” she said, reflecting on her experience in the marriage.
Rev Bature, who was married for 32 years and has five children with her husband, said she initially remained in the relationship despite multiple instances of cheating, even when her husband had a child outside the marriage, a child she helped raise.
Her decision to stay, she explained, was largely influenced by her personal faith and what she believed to be God’s instruction at the time.
“I heard God say to me, ‘stay here,’ even after he cheated, even after he had a child outside our marriage,” she said.
However, she noted that her eventual separation came when she felt spiritually released to leave. “There was a line he crossed, and I said to the Lord, ‘I’m leaving,’ and He said, ‘leave.’ I left,” she stated.
She clarified that although her husband later attempted reconciliation, she has not returned to the marriage. “I didn’t go back. Unless I hear God saying to me, ‘go back.’ But have I gone back? No,” she said, confirming that they are currently separated.
Drawing from both personal experience and her work as a counselor, Bature argued that adultery has deep emotional and spiritual consequences within marriage.
“The moment one person in a marriage commits adultery, you sentence your spouse to doing the same, except by the intervention of God,” she said.
She also contextualised her decision within generational differences, noting that many women of her mother’s era endured infidelity due to societal pressures, financial dependence, and lack of alternatives.
“My mother stayed in her marriage not because she wasn’t hurt, but because there were no options,” she explained, recounting how her mother’s prolonged suffering in a similar situation ultimately shaped her own perspective.
Rev Bature said witnessing her mother’s experience became a turning point in her own life, prompting her to reassess her decision to remain in the marriage
“It woke me up. I realised I had become what I saw,” she said.
Despite her stance, she maintained that decisions about marriage should not be generalized, emphasizing that individuals must seek personal conviction in handling such situations.
“To one, God will say stay. To another, He will say go. We are all different,” she added.