A retired Chief Superintendent of Police, Mr. Samuel Laraiyetan has narrated how he battled with suicidal thoughts after his retirement from the Nigeria Police and how the thoughts led him to Apostolic Faith Church.
Larayetan who shared his experience with Church Times on Thursday, December 24, said he contemplated suicide after he retired from the Police force because he was abandoned by the people he had trusted and sacrificed a lot for while he was still in active service.
He said the whole experience began two years after his retirement and he discovered that those he had sacrificed so much for while in the police decided not to relate with him again.
“They saw me as a liability. Some even stopped picking my calls. I suffered psychological torture; life-threatening rejection and unimaginable loneliness,” he said.
Laraiyetan who became born again while in the Nigeria Police served the force for 35 years. He retired with an untainted record. But he got a raw deal from close friends after his retirement. “I was condemned, mocked, and despised. Some of the people I expected would relate with me very well just kept a distance,” he said.
The experience was so painful that he began to entertain suicidal thoughts noting. ‘Because I was abandoned, I began to understand why people commit suicide.”
He said however that “The grace of God, who has been my companion made me realize that there is a difference between wanting to kill yourself and wanting to kill the part of you that wants you to kill yourself. I also realized that well known successful people are those who had experienced defeat, experienced loss, affliction, betrayal, and survived them all.”
The condition also made him appreciate the full implication of hope as the power of being optimistic in circumstances known to be intolerable.
When the thoughts became strong and unbearable, he increased his closeness to God. Because he was desirous to grow up as a believer, he attended many gatherings where soul-lifting programmes were held. One of the places he attended was the CAMP MEETING of Apostolic Faith Church. “What surprised me was that for the three weeks the programme lasted, not even once did they call for offering. I discovered that the church is completely detached from the material things the world is crazy about.
“It was at the camp meeting it dawned on me that the word of God is food for the soul. The surprising thing is that the messages were timely. The messages I heard from all these programs impacted me positively.
“This was how I kept myself busy and escaped suicide, which is the by-product of DEPRESSION. I have come to realise that whenever one is troubled the best thing to do is run to God.
“Some people make the grievous mistake of running to the wrong places for help. This compounds their problem because there is no help in Egypt. The only solution in life is to embrace the never-failing God. Nobody who does shall be disappointed. I did, and today, I’m a living testimony to the Lord’s faithfulness.”
Larayetan also narrated how working in the police made him see the excesses of people. “The organization is traditionally hostile to righteousness. I remember a senior officer who predicted the manner of his death. He used to tell whoever cared to listen that his death will result from adultery. Another senior officer suddenly died in a plane crash. Barely one month after his death, the number of women who shamelessly came out to say they had babies for him before his death was 16. Yet he was known as a man with only one wife.
“In the year 1996, I was posted from Kwara state to Imo state and my boss congratulated me. Reason: He said I had been posted to a state which is fertile for adultery,” he said.
While recalling the great role his parents played in his life while growing up, he said he enjoyed the grace of God in the area of victory over temptations while serving in the police adding however that he got a higher dimension of that grace after retirement.